Saturday, January 30, 2010

Today's not going so great.  Well, geez, I didn't want to spoil you by only posting delicious cupcake pictures, babies, chocolates, puppies, love stories and tales of lunch with The First Lady.  What would be the fun in that?  It's time to get REAL.

I know, I know, "but you wear rose colored glasses!!"  BAH!  PTHththththththth........

Yes, I DO wear rose colored glasses and see things in a light that some people simply don't understand, and most days butterflies do flutter around my head, I slide down rainbows and little birdies bring me my robe after I shower.  But here's the deal ~ I live with a teenager.  He's an old, pretty much on the edge of still being a teenager; 19 3/4, but still, he's a teenager. 

That being said, I have days, like today, when I'd like to take my rose colored glasses and cram them up his flipping  #&*%!!! 

This is a family site, so I'm being nice.  I'm sure I meant nostrils.

There is nothing in the world that keeps a woman more grounded than having a tween, a preteen or a teenager, let me tell you   ....oooorrr a newborn, a toddler or an elementary school kid!  I'm just saying., I've been taking big, deep, zen breaths, serving nice, warm chicken soup to my honey, listening to love songs on my ipod, watching the snow fall....all things nice....even going so far as plugging my nose as I pass by Josh's room.....even though I told him twelve times to put his dirty clothes in a basket and actually get them into the washer and TO TAKE A SHOWER DANG IT BECAUSE YOU SMELL LIKE THE INSIDE OF A DIRTY TURTLE TANK, HOW CAN YOU NOT SMELL YOURSELF OH MY GOD!!  HELLO??  DO YOU UNDERSTAND ENGLISH?!?!

Deep breaths.  Zen mama.  Chanting, chanting..... Ooommmm - Ooommmm.

{ I have to take one second to tell you that we had 2 turtles in Japan (because we hadn't made enough dumb arse decisions in our lives up to that point) and all I can say is that nothing excretes more waste than a turtle.  Let alone, two turtles. }

Today has been challenging.  I'm just coming to the realization that the Good Lord is preparing me slowly (or, perhaps, a moc speed) to let go.  To untie the apron (more like wallet) strings and to let baby dirty turtle swim away and start his new stinky adult life.  And with a new bottle of cologne.

Yes.  Thank you, sweet Lord, for today you have successfully helped me inch in that direction.  In fact, tomorrow we may spend the day packing his suitcases because we don't want him to do everything last minute in September when he ships to boot camp, do we?  Nooooooo!  I'm a planner!  And I want to make his transition as easily, swift and efficient as possible.  I'm a helper!  It's because I wear rose colored glasses and that's what people who wear rose colored glasses do.  We're helpers and we make things easier for others. 

Okey-dokey, I'm going to go to the garage and dig out his suitcases now.  I'm feeling better already.  As long as I don't pass in front of his bedroom door.


1 comment:

Nikki Mohamed said...

So what you're basically saying is that they NEVER grow up. DAMN. You've dashed my hopes completely, Brenda. Whatever. Maybe I'll have to update my blog now.